Honeymooners in Space
Universe 13,
Planet 35
35th Chapter of
the Stellar Bus
Ralph was landing his Stellar Bus
in the Ho'oleilana Bubble. He told Ed to
expect those boarding to be recently married.
They are Minerals attracted to Living Cell Beings. Ralph informs Ed about this, “We are flying
these pairs off to a Couples’ Weekend.”
Ed replies, “You’re the one who
should try being into Pears some time, instead of all that Cake you Take. These beings may be a Couple’s Weekend, but You
sure are the Weak End of that Kramden Couple.”
Ralph reacted, “Well, a lot of
times when I see you and Trixie together, it sure looks like you are Dis
Coupling. You both sure are This Coop.”
Ed answered, “Well, with your
hunger, you sure act like we are in the
Chicken Coop.”
Ralph then said over the loud
speaker system, “Good Evening you people from the Perseus–Pegasus Filament. I want you to know that I am trying to make
your life and crystallization as happy and safe as possible. Those of you who don’t float on air or are
not magnetically repulsed into our direction are welcomed to take the smooth operator running board
escalator.
“Orbitar and Taphao Thong seam
like nice places to declare you are alive.
We hope you seem and steam to enjoy yourselves on the trip I am
providing. Along with me you will be assisted
by my working agreement Ed. He takes
care of the Physics and Flushings inside our comet like Space Bus.
“Please enter in which ever way
possible as we will be taking off in Eighty Four point Six International
Systems of Units. It will be seventy
three point four light days for us to reach the meeting of Taphao Kaew and Dimidium where you will unload and enjoy
yourselves.”
Ed then said to the loading
formats, “I’d like to recite the Captain Video Ranger pledge to you, what I
call, people: ‘I, Edward L. Norton,
Ranger Third Class in the Captain Video Ranger Academy, do solemnly pledge to
obey the electrons and minerals that made my mommy and daddy. I will be kind to dumb animals and old ladies
in and out of space, not to tease my little brothers and sisters and to brush
my teeth twice a day and drink milk after every meal. ‘”
Lodestone and his very attracted Sialylated
Glycoprotein told Ed, “You are very impetigo.
My orbiter and I are harbinger that you are here.”
Ed said, “Your suite it is.”
Then Magnetite and Zeta Potential
rolled the aisle past Trixie as she told them, “Whoever said the Age of
Chivalry is dead was right. I know the two guys that killed it. Oh, Zeta, your
campaign has been a complete flop.
Flopping right into Magnetite’s heart.”
Zeta then asked Trixie,
“Well. How's your plumbing?”
And Trixie replied, “Still
broken. I never thought Ed would work eight hours in a sewer and I’d come home
wanting to see more water!”
That’s when Visco Elestatic snuck
up to Ralph and whispered to him, “You can take your wife out of the sewer.”
And Ralph agreed, “But you can’t
take the sewer out of my friend, Ed.”
Erythrocytes poked Ralph and
said, “My husband sure is an Electric Eel at times.”
Ed then said, “Quit calling us
guys, Electric Catfish!”
Pyrrhotite stood up for his wife,
Erythrocytes, and said, “You’re all a flock of Oriental Hornets!”
The couple, Alkaline and Ulvospinel, “Where do
you recommend we orbit? Which Places in our Spaces?”
Ralph recommended, “Hercules–Corona
Borealis Great Wall.”
Ed said, “Quasars! My wife and I love Planets with Quasars.”
Trixie then said, “Let them
discover their own Contiguous Features!”
Alice agreed, “You don’t want to force them
into our Incompatible Cosmologies.”
That was when Zinc-Carbon
strolled past with both Green Jadeite and Green Nephrite. Aarhus began snuggling with Lead Acid. Lithium pulled Nakhla into their room.
Alnico the lonely Aluminum-Nickel-Cobalt, looked sad
as he wandered to his room himself.
Alice asked him, “If you’re
alone, why don’t you go to the bus’ bar?”
Alnico said, “Since I’m made up
of aluminum, nickel, and cobalt, I am magnetic.
I still cannot attract any ferric nitrate cells. Even at the bars. And bars are made of metal. They sure attract magnetites like me. I’m tired of clinging on to bars. Gold
Rust. Silver Rust. For me I can’t find a live or lied biological
cell. I’ve even tried to Buy Illogical Cells. The best I can get is Copper Rust. That
Copper won’t even give me A Penny for my thoughts. I just get Appendicitis for my Gouts.”
That
made Alice point him out to Trixie and she whispered, “He might hope he was
Silicon the Millionaire. Then he would
not be alone or need a lone.”
Trixie
smiled and said, “Or Silly Cone, what Ed wears on his head.”
Ed
then snickered, “I’d rather not be A Head of Ralph.”
Ralph
then said, “I have - I've got an explanation. All right. I’m not a perfect Cone. Just call me a dope. But I’m not a
run-of-the-mill dope, the world's champ. ...”
Alice,
“Ralph, I don't want a silly on million. There's just one guy I want: you.”
Ralph,
“Baby, you're the greatest. You’re a meteorite Alice. A real meteorite.”
Then
Trixie says to Alice:
You
said ‘He Shouts’
And
Alice said, I agreed ‘He’s a Loud Mouth’
We
all hoped ‘He had Conceded’
That’s
when Alice said ‘He’s Conceited’
‘He
Shouts’
‘Loud
Mouth’
‘Conceded’
‘Conceited’
They
both went “Let’s call the whole thing ‘Ralph’”
He
told you ‘Call this a Star Cruiser’
And
I agreed, ‘We are just Losers’
Then
you said, ‘ They’re Sure Snoozers’
And
I said, ‘They’re really Boozers’
‘Star
Cruiser Losers’
‘Snoozers
who are Boosers’
Let’s
call this whole thing ‘Ralph’
He
never knows if it’s ‘Night or Day’
He
just calls everything ‘Solar Ray’
He points at them, ‘You Pay Here’
And
You warn, ‘He’ll get it with a Laser’
‘Not Our Day’
‘So
Far Away’
‘Pay
Here’
‘With
Laser’
Let’s
call this whole thing ‘Ralph’
Then they teared and finally
smiled, hugged, and said:
He wouldn’t have heard us call
all ‘Ralph’
He
never listens, let’s keep our scalp
Life
keeps going on just like we’re dead
And
he blames it all on ‘Ed’
Remember,
we’re in this whole thing because of ‘Our Ralph.’
I Hope You Had Fun Reading This Maybe You will have fun reading some of THESE
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