Doubts Count or Clouts Blout

               I’ve been out drinking with my buddies.  I had a Singapore Sling.  Or was it I Sing of Porcelain?   It feels like I had a Swing on a Porcupine.  I sure had too many porcinis.  There was mush in the room all around me.

               Frank told me, “Don’t try to make your dreams remain.  I make my dreams a reality.  That’s better than having my dreams my remains.”

               Then we heard the bartender, or was that the Fart Ender, “Away and away forward.”

Jim told me, “I smell the dirt and I walk away from that dirt.  I walk forward.  I see no light and just walk into it.”

Ed said, “I just get punched and fall.”

Tim went on, “Into that area the punch did not come from, I see schools.  Not Icy Cools. And I see ground, or was that the Esagrand?  It sure was Grand.  Whatever it was.  Or was it a wasp?”

I just replied, “And I sat on this see saw and just got pushed up to the sun.”

Frank talked, “That is the season this is.  It was the wind that blew that kite up higher.”

Jim answered, “Well, and I don’t mean deep water.  But, well, those magnets keep pushing me up.”

That caused me to say, “The sound was so plasmatically disgusting that all I could do was wave.”

To which Frank reacted, “It’s not easy being Lazy.  You’re Lazy because nobody can be that stupid.  Making the bed.  Cutting wood.  Trimming branches.  Asking what you said because I am too lazy to listen to you the first time and too lazy to read your mind.”

And I said, “It’s not easy being Stupid.  Don’t think about it, just do it.  I was told he could do it in one hour and he gave me one month to do it.  I finished it in 3 weeks.  His works 10% of the time.  Mine works 95% of the time.”

Tim then said, “I was interrupted by Endeavor Health.  They really should be named ‘End Never Death’.”

Ed asked, “Did you Mask Up or have you just gone to Mass Cup.”

Tim replied, “I think it was an Irish Wolfhound or maybe that Irish Wool  I Found.”

Frank said, “Well, I am a Week Early.”

And I said, “As usual, you are just a Wee Curly.”

Frank then asked, “Wichita, or Which I Thought, or are you the Witch I Taunt?”

To witch I asked, “Are you Iceland Dice or Dice Landic?”

Which caused Frank to go on, “Glacialotomy!”

And Jim asked, “Was that Glacier Anatomy or ‘Glaciers On Top Of Me’?”

Ed said, “I’d better watch out.  I don’t want to be Ate!  And I’m not denying all this Hate.”

Tim then disgusted, “Heaven snakes alive.”

Frank sighed, “Fort trees too.”

To which I asked, “But Who Won?  Can’t you Zee that Hero?”

Ed then told us, “You’ve got to make your every move count!   Or at least make every count move:

 

Count Dooku from Star Wars, or was that Start Warts.

Count Dracula from, of course, Dracula.

Count Duckula from Count Duckula.  Duck means hide your head.

Count Fenring from Dune.  We all know what you’re doing.

Count Athos, one of the Three Musketeers.  You are a bunch of musk eaters.

Count Baltar from Battlestar Galactica.  Impractica.

Count Bloodcount from Looney Tunes.  There’s no Loonier Than Us.

Count Bobby who was The Terror of The Wild West.  West Minister Abbey, baby.

Count Chocula from Monster Cereals.  We are the Surreals.

Count von Count from Sesame Street.  Their Street is our Retreat.

Edmond Dante, the Count of Monte Cristo.  Boil me in Cristo Oil.

Count Floyd from the Second City Television.  Don’t tell me your visions.

Count Fosco from The Woman In White.  Keep her out of my sight.

Count Fujiwara from The Handmaiden.  My Dune is what my Sand is Makin.

Count Nefaria from Marvel Comics  Following my Ergonomics.

Count Olaf from A Series of Unfortunate Events.  With Frank we need to keep the Vents.

Count Orlok from Nosferatu.  Speaking of Frank, our noses will rot too.

Count Paris from Romeo and Juliet.  In my life, I’ve roamed and I still owe so my Julie Left.

Count Andreas Petofi from Dark Shadows.  Do.  Dose.  Doze.

Nikolai Rostov from War and Peace.  I were in a lot of Pees.

Count Weirdly from Slylock Fox.  And I’m stuck in a box.

Count Rupert of Mountjoy from The Mouse That Roared.  We’re all on board.”

 

               Frank asked, “Why do we have to Count his Joy?”

               And I asked Frank, “Were you Down for that Count?”

Frank then asked, “Which Count?”

That caused me to ask, “Did you say ‘Witch Count’?”

To which Tim asked, “Or was that the Wichita Count?”

Ed replied, Anyway, that was my Count Down.”

I then asked, “Did you say that you just gave us your Count Clown?”         

Tim just asked, “Which Count was that?”

Ed said, “Tim, you must have been Down for the Count!”

Tim pushed in, “Which Count?”

Ed asked, “Did you ask me to be a, ‘Witch Count’?”

Frank added in, “Maybe he asked ‘Wichita Count’.”

Ed finished, “I don’t care!  That was my Count Down!”

Tim then said, “I guess I now have to give you my Count Down!”

Frank then was frank, “You are always our Count Clown.”

 

Tim then chorused loudly:

 

               “One Two Three

                 Eins Zwei Drie

                 Un Deux Trois

                 Ah-DEEN dvah tree”

 

I tried to shut his mouth was by saying, “To me, that was Unary, Binary, and very, very Intrusive Very!”

Butt then Tim asked, “Did you say that, to you, this was all Urinary?”

Which caused me to change my accent and finish us all with, “Me, I’m Swine Dry.  I’ve Fluffy Sox.  I Act Not Sane.  Did you hear this from a ditch?  Was it a herd of ducks?  We sure are sick.  All around there are Germs Many.”

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