Boy Did I Berne, Churn, and Burn, But Not Learn Something

 

              I said, “ I’ve got to tell you:  ‘Johnny, your Pa has no headroom!  He just snores like a pest!!  And Johnny, your Pa fills up our gloom!!!  He brings us all Down in his nest!!!!  All can tell that we sure ain’t blessed!!!!!’”

              And Johnny told me, “He makes life easier than ever!  You never make life easy for me!”

              Then I said, “Your Gym sure is toxic.”

              And Johnny asked me, “Is this whole Glen sonic?”

              I asked, “Could you even spell what I had to say?”

              And he said, “Nope, but I can sure smell what you had Tuesday!”

              That caused me to ask, “Who is your father?”

              Johnny said, “Ivan.”

              I asked, “Ivan Who?”

              He said, “Ivan Hoe.”

              So, I asked, “How How How?”

              Johnny replied, “He is the king of the Spruce Mints.” 

              That caused me to say, “Spruce Mints,  you sure shred that around here!”

              And Johnny explained to me, “Blue Mist here, Clue Less there.  Hear a jerk? They’re some jerks.  Ever wear a Jerks Work?  The second snow is off the season seasons for us humans who the rat king who dug a hole to our universe.  Black Hole, Wack Whole, Smack All, Snack Call.  When I die you will need another eye to get your snake eyes on your dice move.”

              So, I sang:

 

                                         “Marching machine nose

                                           Marching maraschinos

                                           You are a mussed up matching gross jerk to fight me.”

              And then some sixth grader wacked me with his portable stop sign that he directs the students actually going to class down the three aisled hall.  Kindergarteners go there.  First through sixth graders go there.  Seventh and Eighth graders walk the middle.

              The bathrooms are generally open so the teachers can yell in them to stop kids from smoking.  The school library has an entry door and an exit door.  You cannot enter with anything other than notebooks and a pencil.  You can exit only after going through the line where the teacher records the books or computer records of what you need to study for your classes.

The art class room is in the same room as the science room.  This is for Seventh and Eighth graders.  The teacher either has the students paint on canvas or mix chemicals together that would burn their hands if they were not careful.

              I decided to just walk down the hallway from where I sit at the beginning of school in my assigned home room to the English class when the first bell rings so I can learn nouns and verbs and how to use adjectives and adverbs.  These are the objectives we were all told have.  Well, I certainly object to that.  Obviously, my brain cannot observe adverbs when they obtuse from all the abuse I get.  It’s just another tooth decaying from the truth.  So, I booth.

              I asked my teacher, “I owe you nothing?”

              He told me, “And you are nothing.”

              That caused me to reply, “So!  I Owe You?”

              The middle class chorus marched by singing:

 

                             “Please accept

                               Pleas except

                               Fleas Exceptional

                               Trees Accept Canal

                               A Con Dorch

                               Acorn Door Rye Toe

                               Geez!  Accept That Bull

                               Freeze and expect a null

                               Misinformation or Miss In The Form Of The Nation

                               That’s a toon of

                               The tuna that slaves to pay my son

                               He sure is a son of a toupee.”

 

              The Kindergarteners then joined singing:

 

                             “Please accept

                               Pleas except

                               Fleas Exceptional

                               Trees Accept A Canal

                               A Con Dorch

                               Acorn Door Rye Toe

                               Geez!  Accept That Bull

                               Freeze and expect a null

                               Misinformation or Miss In The Form Of The Nation

                               That’s a turn down

                               That’s the stinker who slaves my son.”

 

              I asked Johnny “Was that what was said by her or are you just sad by her?”

              Johnny replied, “She said she had to Meet Mark at the Meat Market so she can get the Meat Mark Et.”

              And I responded, “Well, to me, Mark is probably an E.T.  He sure seems like an Extra Terrestrial because there is so much Extra of him in my Territory.  He sure Exerts his Terror To Me.”

              And we had to stop our conversation.  There was a programming assignment to rip off one of our client’s investors.  OB didn’t know how to do it.  I knew how to do it.  OB got vocally mad at me whenever I updated the code and did not do it.  I just refused to do it and kept updating the code.  Several times he’s told me that he’s the genius and he knows how to do it but he wants me to figure out how to do it so I might be able to do it again for another client.  I told him that I had figured out how to do it.  I then told him “I am being honest to you when I tell you I refuse to do it because I am being honest.”

              Boy, school is getting Artificially Ineluctable as my lack of learning time goes on.   On the mainframes we would call it “structured code.”  On the pc’s we would call it “objected oriented code.”  What some of the bosses did was called “spaghetti code.”

             

              The principal came by and sang to us:

 

                                                       “Shades Of Life

 

                                                          Red to keep us going

                                                          Hand in Hand

                                                          Over Sand and Shale

 

                                                          Blue will shut my eyes

                                                          From killing sorrow

                                                          And regret hate

 

                                                          Green floats in the distance

                                                          To breath as told

                                                          In time and need

 

                                                          Grey my nearing sunrise

                                                          A steady pulse

                                                          Felt now and last.”

 

              So, I got into class.  Sat at my desk.  And the teacher told us that People are the Pets and the Pets are the owners.  Here is how she said it:

 

“A children’s story.

A turtle, “These two humans are driving me bats.  They keep coming in here and pulling me into their hands.  I got to show them who’s boss by pooping in my water dish and peeing in my food dish. 

I got to dig up everything and keep turning over my log so they get some exersize by straightening up the shavings and putting the log in place.  Boy they are hard to teach.”

 

 

The Pig Got Up

You Can Tell:

I’m the one who should tell people what to do.  I can lie.  I don’t have to answer for anything.  You can tell them all to go to Hell

 

Amen:

I’m very religious.  I’ve been a member and a leader in several different churches over the years.  Churches that supply women to rich men.  Churches that organized wife swapping parties.  Churches that control various political parties.

 

Who Boozes:

I drink.  How the Hell else do I keep this up.  I have no drinking problem.  Just cause you have a problem doesn’t mean that I have a problem.  All the people around me drink.  If you have a problem with that just  keep your mouth shut.

 

By the company:

The corporate World.  The Wall Marts.  The Wall Street.  Some corrosive chemicals distribution center.  No one else will take the responsibility.  He was a dock hand.  The company was owned by his uncle.  They were about to let him go.  Another uncle hired him at an electronics company.  He worked for the salesmen

 

Who Chooses:

There is no choice.  That is the way the world is.  She sleeps around.  He sleeps around.  They are both drunks.  They abuse other people.  They rob and steel and brag about themselves.  Just buck up. 

 

When that was said:

He was caught sleeping with his brother’s secretary.  She is twelve years younger than his wife.  His wife was sleeping with his brother’s secretary’s husband.  He is twelve years younger than his wife.  He got caught.  She did not.  She got mad that people would realize that “He was cheating on her.”  Not that cheating occurred but that someone was more attractive than her.”

 

              I got disgusted, got up from my desk, and left.  That keeps happening over and over again.  She thinks she is great.  She says she is the only one who cares about family.  She keeps telling us to give it all up for her.

                                                               I hope you liked reading this                                                                                                                         I hope you like reading some of THESE