Growling Up In My Kind Dred Garden

               I was yelled at, “What part of your body got smashed against the wall?”

              I stirred my head, looked around, and said, “I can’t tell right now.  If it was my head, that may be why I can’t tell.  My back thinks it hurts.  My right arm is too warm for me.  My left knee won’t move.  What do you see about me?”

              And he just said, “Today is Dog’s Dan for your mote cram.  ‘What does that mean? ‘ you ask.  Well!   Today I am your special Threat.”

              Then he continued, “I’ll cut your chest so your heart valve could be seen.  I’m sick of seeing you Again, and to me you think you will A Gain while we all keep  Aging as you say life keeps Raging.”

              I frowned and whimpered, “An Age and A Gast.”

              As he told me, “An Agent who’s against a guest.  Who gusts from the unjust?”

              There was a grip and a gap.   I thought, from the thrift there was a Giraffe.  Oh,Lungs next to me and you’ll just Tomb Me.  Your lunges toot to me you tootie fruity.   You should just lounge out you old meat head.

              Then you told me, “I’ve been led to the lead and sure shall shred red.”

              And I responded, “another gesture from you, the court jester who belongs in curt

Was that meant to be?  Or are you just mean to me?”

              I looked fakingly sad, “In God We Rust.  But thanks to You, You Stink You Ink.  You’re Odd and you make us  Bust!”

              I just remember back in school. I felt every grade was like kindergarten, but they are much kinder in the garden, while I am cinder and my lava hardens.  I am so light that I am pumice.  You others have to harden.  Hardy har har.  Laurel must be with you.

              We have to count in math class but I can’t count on that temporary, and I mean contemporary, teacher that I had in English class.  He pointed at students and asked them to spell different words.  After a while he pointed at me and asked me to spell ‘Arctic.’  And I stood up and said ‘A’ ‘R’ ‘C’ ‘T’ ‘I’ ‘C’.  And he told me to think about it and spell it again.  I did.  He sounded mad at me and said to spell it correctly this time.  I repeated myself.  Then he told me to sit in the back row as punishment.  He then went up to the blackboard and chalked up for us:  ‘A’ ‘R’ ‘T’ ‘I’ ‘C’!  No wonder I can’t spell.

              I like going to the Library.  The Librarian told me not to READ out loud.  So, I stopped doing that.  

              Gym class was difficult.  I took a long time to do push ups.  Sit ups hurt a lot.  When we had to climb ropes, I would rather stay up there rather than inch my way down.  I kept getting yelled at when we were told to run around the gym or in the mile circle in the outside of the classrooms.  Years later a doctor told me that I had flat feet and could not run.  That hurts when you are a kid and it looks like you are not listening to the instructor.  My feet, at that time, were so big I could not find gym shoes that fit me.  I’d force my feet into shoes a couple times smaller than the size I counted.  That and my flat feet hurt my gym experience even more.

              Art class was fun.  My penciled pictures looked good about dogs and fish and trees.  What looked bad was my signature.  My handwriting is terrible.  One of our science teachers told me about handwriting analysis. What he said pointed out lines in our palms and the auras him and I could see around people.  No wonder my science stunk in college.  How that guy was hired to teach was that the school’s principal graduated from a defunct college and his father bribed the village mayor into letting him hire this psyontific instructor.

              This Sure Is My Heiratage: 

 

                             My sleep is different than your sleep

                             My sleep is different than yours

                             My sleep is different cause I have a cpap machine

                             My sleep is different than yours

 

              And I did not have a cpap machine growing up.  I walked, talked, and looked around in my different class rooms while part of my brain and body were sleeping during the day time.  School was school.  And living in my neighborhood did not mis it one bit.  My parents told me to shovel snow or mow the lawn.  Parts of my insides passed sleep around and I made mistakes which my parents got used to.  The neighborhood kids tried to get me to play softball and football.  I could not score. I could not even catch.

              I got laughed at a lot.  But a few of the kids would walk the paths of the forest with me.  We did not skate.  We did not fight.  We enjoyed animals.

              My brother, and the normal kids in school, and my neighbors called us Hogan’s Heroes Characters:

 

              Colonel Robert E Slowman

              Colonel Wilhelm In A Klink

              General Burkhater

              Staff Sergeant James Cinchless

              Major Wolfgang Hoofsitter

              Sergeant Hands Gorge Schultz

              Colonel Quit That

              Corporal Peter Knows Nuthin

              Foul  Helga

              Corporal Lose It LeBeau

              Forgetful  Hilda

 

 

              Sergeant  Schnitzel Picker keeps ordering us, “Abundance is futile!  Now start Dancing Square!”

              Then there was Corporal Neverkirk to Stink when the kids acted like trying to buy a drink from the bartenderess, “I’m giving her all I’ve got, Chaplin!”

              Fraulein Helpme, “Seargent Has Schnitzel, sometimes thinking that I’m always  hearing the words ‘don’t drink frequently’ again, I'll cry.”

              Surgent Has Schnitzel, “It is illogical for someone I work with to follow the words "don’t drink frequently."

              Fraulein Helpme, “Then I'm an logical woman. Would you never stop telling me what an attractive lady I am!  And how do I not laugh at Kirkadant Stink when he’s been Mooned?”

              Seargent Has Schnitzel, “Stink is The Man In The Moon, Fraulein Helpme.”

              Fraulein Helpme,  “I'm not surprised.”

 

              Schnitzel says, “Then some Twisted Sister broke her neck mister.  And you are the mystery she breaks next.  Weight up while the ships row in cause you got to pour away again.”

              I said, “You think you are the Jack of All Trades!”

              And he answered, “It is so obvious, No you are not, you are the Jack of All Hammers.  You are such a Hammer Head.  Don’t keep Sharking Me.  Fin ish it Now!” 

                                                      I liked writing this                                                                                                                                          I hope you liked reading this                                                                                                                          I hope you will like reading some of THESE