How, Not Who, Do We Think We Are?

 

We just went through Valentines Day.  Why did we do it?  And I am not talking about the “Bug” Moran St. Valentines Day Massacre in the garage on 1929.  Someone just stated to me, “You should find yourself a Good Girl!”  And I am wondering, “What does that mean?  Am I looking for ‘Someone to Couple with?’  And should I be looking for a ‘her’?  Or are they saying that I am a man who should or does act like a woman? “

Am I surrounded by a bunch of people who think they are Super Heroes but are really Stupid Neros?  I think they are the ones that  sound like the Sopranos. And their music makes me sick. 

Where did any of this Earth’s life come from?!!  Molecule to Molecule?  Electrons falling into Protons?  Did the Neutrons build up the individual cell and eventually a group of cells and then a body of various groups of cells, and some sorts of Neutrons put skins around their built bubbles.  Bubbles of Life.  And most Earth’s Lifes are related.  Think about any other planet or comet or cosmos or gassed grouped radiations.  In so many ways Life can be Life but it doesn’t need to be, cannot be, is not the same.  Dust particles could fall in together.  Enough to brag that they are Life.  Magma can group with similar looking or feeling or heating Magmas and claim to be the Nations Under Ground.  Cosmic Radiation keeps grouping with other Cosmic Vibes.  We have got to Realize and Admit It Could Be.  We Can’t Know What Could Be!

I Am A Man.  But that mandibles when a horseshoe-shapes a bone that forms the lower jaw.  A man dribbling basketball.  How about the dripping urine after going to the bathroom which is common as men age. Men think they woo Women.  But isn’t it is really the Women wow men!  And Women also woe men.  Some Women also need to whoa men. 

It could be that at the cellular level, animals are not considered "male" or "female" as the sex designation is determined by the genetic makeup of each cell, meaning every cell in a male organism carries the male genetic code and vice versa for females; essentially, each cell has its own inherent sex identity based on its chromosomes, not a distinct "gender" as humans understand it.  

Some of us push the thought that while "sex" refers to the biological characteristics determined by chromosomes (like XX for female and XY for male), "gender" is a social construct that often involves cultural interpretations and identity. I wonder that, If we ever discover life on other planets, would that life not have biologically evolved from our life forms so the ways they reproduce or produce more of themselves would not necessarily follow our methods.

And, think about it.  Also, on our planet, Genders are entirely an animal thing. Plants - at least, most plants - do not have either sexes or genders. They are what is known as monoecious which means that one plant produces both micro- and macro- gametes. Those plants that do have separate male and female plants have sexes but do not have genders.

Is what we are trying to do, “Again or A Gain?”

Do we have any super heroes who are plants?  White Mercy, Floronic Man, Man Thing, Groot, Nature Girl, Mantis, Krakoa (and that is not east of Java), Rictor (and that don’t have a scale), Poison Ivy, and Swamp Thing.  Vervain, Garlic, and Wild Parsnips kill Vampires.  The plant most commonly associated with harming werewolves is Wolfsbane (also called Monkshood or Aconitum).

What do you think happens?  A Vampire traveling through space eats circulation from a different type of living creature because what is considered life, which is different based on the ruling chemistry and ruling power sources of the group of planets.  When they find me, I’m just a Green Skinned Frankenstein Monster.  To them I’m seen with Foot Long Feet.  And I’ve got Two Bolts along my neckline.  For Electricity!  Quit calling me “A Mummy Backed Camel”  I am really a “Camel Backed Haily.”

 

Some Bats

More Bats

And Bats

Those Bats

When They Bite Me For More.

Do you hear that bell ring?

There are Bats in my belfry.

 

Why should I want you guys to sing “Spider Man, Spider Man, Does whatever a Spider can” when you claim I am Spider Man and  with those real spiders, the female eats the male spider after she starts building children spiders?  I don’t want to die.

It’s not just spiders.  Look at those Bee Hives!  They have a Queen Bee!   Not any King Bees!  Look at all those Worker Bees.  They are all Girls!  The only Males are those few Drones!  Once the Queen Bee uses them, they are removed. I don’t want to be considered just a Drone.

There is a similar thing, common with Ants.  And these Ants might be your Aunts.  Not your Uncle, under her Knuckle.  Male ants are also called Drones!  Sure, we look up to, brag about, and want more Drones now!  But that is just so these rich business owners make more money off of us without them having to do any work for it.  Anyway, male ants have wings and are fertile to mate with the queen.  Male ants are much smaller than females and have longer antennae. The males only emerge from the colony for one day in order to mate.  They usually die a few days after they mate.

We’ve got to Stand Our Ground!  Earthworms are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both male and female reproductive organs.  They turn about from their front to their back and make babies with each other.

I am not called ‘Hero.’   That is supposed to be a genial, encouraging Worm Man who secretly supplied the first Wards team with video games and movies so that they could have an enjoyable pastime between their work as heroes and after school.  But Worms are not just Men.  They, are, have been, and will always be both.

Like that M.A.N.T.I.S. superhero.   Female mantises are usually larger and heavier than males. Male mantises are usually smaller and thinner than females. Female praying mantises sometime eat their male mates during or after mating.

When you want to Jump around, think about some grasshopper species.  Females may eat the male after or during mating.   The Grasshopper was a thief who met a somewhat crooked entymologist who gave him a serum made of the leg muscles of grasshoppers.

When you claim that You Light Up Your Life, well those Female fireflies of the genus Photuris lure and eat male fireflies of the genus Photinus. These female fireflies are known as "femmes fatales".   Firefly began as a criminal who played with lighting and visual effects to successfully pull off robberies, but in the dark reimagining he became a sociopathic, core member of Batman’s rogues gallery, though not nearly as popular as the other Gotham City villains.

Our Hero, Firefly, wears a fireproof battle suit and is always equipped with a flamethrower, incendiary ammunition, and explosive agents. He compulsively sets fires, and once burned himself in a chemical explosion before having developed his protective costume. Lynns also uses a jetpack for high-speed flight and quick getaways.

 I’ve got to tell him, “Don’t Flash by me, It is the Green Land’s Turn.”

Life!  Life!  Life!  Look over there! That is the Testosterone Terrorist Turantula who is Terre Firma. I am a fighter, not a flighter.  Am I fighting against him or with him?  You sure are not fighting with Tim!  But I don’t know if you are fighting Him!

Sadly, Joe, I feel that your skills do not need our matching skills and definitely not your matches or your mattress and definitely not any of your kills.

Did someone say that I am a Hero or a He Rogue?

I think you just want to Elect Trick Lights.

Am I going to be Fossilized or are these all Life’s Fossil Lies?

                                                 I hope you got something                                                                                                                               Out of reading this                                                                                                                                          I hope you read                                                                                                                                               Some of THESE

Atom Bums or Atomic Bombs, At The Bus

 Honeymooners in Space

Universe 13, Planet 40

40^th Chapter of the Stellar Bus

 

 

               Ralph was waving his hands and greeting, over the loud speaker system, what he thought were people about to enter the machine he gets paid money for working on and for.  “I wish to welcome You and your buddies onto the Space Bus.  This Space Bus!  My Space Bus!!!  I, Me, We Came here and We wish You, Hue, and Who would feel  Welcomed.  And that is not Cycloned, Cyborged, Synthesized or Synthroided. Or Thrown Down A Well.

               “We came here, so,  Whatever.  Dimensions or Demonics or even Descartes are where you live and you are going to live it up riding up onto my transportational device which will deviate and divide and deliver you into a whole new world, or a hole in space, or even a bowl of hurling. .  You may join your work force or farce as I joined my work face on a new place to liver. 

“Where we have landed to pick you up is made of Meteor and Cosmic Debris.  You may have been formed by your own or owed solar system’s creditors several billion years ago.  I was informed.  I was transformed.  I transport.  That is my sport!  Do you even know what  a year is?  Can you get to Earth, my Earth, which is 91.619 million miles from its nearest light source.  Don’t die.  The Diameter of Venus is 7,520.8 miles.  And streaking from that sun is Pluto averaging at least 3.7 billion miles.  But then you might ask, ‘What is a mile?’  Well, you can mill it over bubs. 

               “After you are sparing and sparring yourselves onto and into my Space Bus, you will enlistingly enlivening yourselves to places you can rest, restore, renovate, or renever.  I know a lot about the lots available.  And, thanks to having someone or something claim he is doing what needs to be done, Ed, has said he restored the various atmospheric creators in order to keep you feeling like you are alive.  We will depart and take a timing  of fifty-five pertrio cosmic cluster light years in order that  you will, would, or could be entering onto the Space Bubble of intermediate consent.  Ed admits that life is like, liked, spiked and hiked over the various stars we claim we will have you visit.

               “I am a member of a group of Omnibus Diverter operators who work for the United Field Hyperbolics fleet of mass transportational devices.  You can call me, Ralph Kramden.  No, I will not tie your shoes, if you have shoes, and Edward Norton, he acts like an engineer, or is that when the engine is near?  Anyway, that is what I hear.   My wife, Alice, is around to make it look like I am under control.  Finally, there is Ed’s wife, Trixie.  I wish I knew what a wife does.

               “Welcome aboard.”  

               In walked the Theoretical Framework of a Richard Feynman’s interpretation of one of his Dirac Equations.  It was a simple positron whose auntie traveled with an electron and both thought they were going backwards in time.  Going backwards, meant to them, that they will get the money back that they paid for this trip.  Many other boarding molecular groups shared similar properties of their reversed time in whatever directions.

               Ed Norton stopped a fight where an imitator imagined moving backwards in time and shouldered a positron buddy whose  electron wife claimed she annihilated.  Ed shut them up and told them, “The hypnosis of all electrons seem positronic but are actually manifest destinies of a snuggling elopers thinking backwards and forwards in time.”

               That got the Antique Splatters which were made up of antiparticles to declare themselves the "opposite" visions of the particles that make up regular matter, meaning they have the same mass but opposing electrical priests; for example, the Andy Electron is a post of iron, which is an irony charge instead of a negotiating one.  Antiparcipiants counterculture with protons, electrons, and neutrons disrespectively.

               Alice pointed out “ There sure is a bunch of Ancestry vs Anti Celestial.  Why can’t they just Antimatter and Annihilate.  But maybe, Ralph, it was that you are Late Again. “

               Ralph agreed, “Regreeting those Mr. Positrons makes them formally meet Electrons in the body and anticipate an astrological medium that keeps claiming they are a healthy star system.  Stars smell like giant balls of hot gas.  Ed told me they are mostly hydrogen, with some helium and small amounts of other elephants.  To me they are Fish in space.  One of their sons was found with a meteoric partner.”

               One of the passengers came up to Ralph and asked for, “A disk of cosmic building materials forms around the dead star—and the star that's still alive.”

               Ralph said, “We appreciate new parents, such as you, a protoplanetary disk with a known  birth of planets.”

               Alice then poked Ralph in the stomach and whispered to him, “That’s an old wives tale.  How about all those old Norton Tails?”

               And then the Heliopause, along with their friend, Mr. Solar Wind, complainingly complained about Mr. and Mrs. Proton, when they met at the interstellar speed bump and created a distinct "astral wall."

               The wife just said, “Those Subatomic Particles think they have  positive charges, but they are only playing a Mole in their brain’s space function.  Space Mole!  Just another unit of measurement in the International System of Units (SI) for so called amounts of a substance.”

               Then up came a bunch of Sodiums  and Mrs. Chloride with her, children, those formed Sodium Chlorides, along with other significant Ions, Mr. Magnesium, Miss Sulfate, a whole family of Calcium, and a stranger, Mr. Potassium.

               Trixie pointed out, “They are just another bunch of interstellar clouds and around stars, playing a significant role in the formation of complex molecules through chemical reactions with other particles.”

               Alice said, “They sure sound like some defined series of compressions and rarefactions showing off their molecules within a medium.”

               Ed then said to Ralph, “Now I Know Why We Drive Off To The  Googolplex... To Get Away From Our Wives.”

               Ralph answered, “Quit talking Ed, there are other types of vibrations in space that create sounds that our wives would rather hear.”

               And then an escalator load of transfers energetically got through the middle aisle as a wave, thinking that  each of their molecules essentially returned to their original position.

               Trixie laughed and said, “That’s a bunch of blind and visually impaired communities.  They just ‘listen’ to astronomical images and only want to explore their own data.”

               Alice agreed, “Just like Ralph, they think they have brains at many levels — In reality they are just the smallest molecules that claim  brainworks.  That one’s thought patterns said that he gives meaning to asteroids.”

               Ralph budded in and said, “"One of these Astral Rays, Alice!   Space Clouds and Spindel Fibers! Implementations  based on Gold is present in space created by nuclear fusion.  Right in the Astrolic Fissure!"

               Ed then said, “I remember when we put two mummichog fish into space, launched, not lunched, however lunged in 1973.”

               Trixie pointed out that “When they're swimming (literally) while in space, there's not even a ‘sideways’ or ‘crooked.’  Their smallest element in their race was considered to be a quark.”

               Ralph then said, “Yes Mam.   This is the time I'm gonna get a pot of goldfish for Alice. I’ll just go to that comet for gold, I've already got a big pot.”        

                Trixie then said , “Hydrogen sure makes up around 75% of the visible universe, far exceeding your other elements like helium, around 23% and Ed’s oxygen which is just 1%.”  

               Ed said, “Speaking of your Pot, yours is big but the largest known 'object' in this Universe is the Hercules-Corona Borealis Great Wall.”

               Ralph answered, “ Quit telling me that I'm a dope. I’m sure not a run-of-the-mill dope.”

Alice said, “Ralph, you’re the world's champ."

And Trixie said, “There are so many other worlds in space.”

That’s when a bunch of  ultra-low frequency electromagnetic vibrations complained about the feelings of their seats.

Ralph then told them, “Don’t complain to me.  I just Brive A Dus... I Dus A Brive.”

Ed said, “You guys are just a bunch of Space Dust. Keep this up and I’ll have to recapture my Space Suit.  If I Keep Keeping This up, I'll Lose My Old Age.”

               That caused Alice to quiet Ralph and tell him, “I don't want a million. There's just one guy I want: you!  So, what if we have to keep going ‘Bang, Zoom’, if you stir right, we’ll fly  ‘straight to the moon!’”

              

                                           If you had fun reading this                                                                                                                             You might have fun                                                                                                                                        Reading some of THESE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

              

               

Involving Evolution or Evolving In Pollution

 

They say that dogs evolved from gray wolves, wolves who like to be called  ‘Canislupus,’ although they send their kids to the Lunar Fairs.  They did not realize that Light comes not just from the Solar Blares.  They thought they lived in DeLight.  Through all, a process of domestication had begun between 12,500 and 15,000 years ago. However, recent phonetic studies suggests that domination may have started even earlier, as far back as 130,000 years ago.

Back in those time warps an unacceptable, free electron could only emit one Photon. And when that Photon was being annihilated by colluding with a positron, the negatronomics took over. Both practices and impartations  had become convertibles for one claiming to be that Photon.   Ick, each claiming the energy of 0.511 MeV. There was also psychotronic/cyclotron radiation, which said he produced any number of Photons.  Photons my eye, and that is why got blinded.

While that was going on dogs shared 99.9% of their DNA with gray wolves.   What  other one percent could even try to make a difference, huge or otherwise?  Nature versus Artificial Intelligence  creates sections of traits within that uncommon descents of verses have resulting Dogs making the most variety of angry mammals.

Another sent of verses smelled like monkey differentiating  Photons and Elections.  Is that Photons having no Mass?  Or just not going to Mass?   And what charge, which Electronic Election kneels down in a  Mass with a negative mind?   Essential Protons are participating in a  fight, whereas Elements are funny amiable practitioners found around Atomic Adam Ants who keep acting as carriers of excentric changes.

Negative?  Positive?  Possessive? Protesting!  Wolves just denunciate themselves.

This Dog began in Siberia 26,000-19,700 years ago running after some Ancient North Eurasians.   His mother then later dragged him eastwards into the Americas instead of  westwards across Eurasia.  Your Asia?  My Asia?   Anybody’s Asia.

Copying The Dog’s actions, The Photon began acting like a type of elephant particle so his stinks can carrier its own  energy, but nearby Electrons kept claiming subatomic partial wills for a  witch to secure, or is that sucker,  various dimwits in all the Atoms.

Several oldest known Dog pawprints were found in the Atari Mountains of Sibling Rivalry in  a cave and a half in Bell Songs, dated ~33,000 years ago. According to studios, this may indite the domination of Dog securing simultaneous indifferentiation of geographic locomotions.

The Photon began  living in animals who wanted to be referred to as "Buy All Photons" and are extremely tweeted with blight transmissions produced naturally by metal and biological professions within the body, aiming at all living organisms, including animals, to resist a very small amount of light due to nonsensical reactions happying  the jail cell level; these remissions are usually do quaints to be streamed by the crescent moon and require specialized equipment to detect.

Our Hero discovered that some frogs are not poisonous to The Dog, however, others can be dangerous.  Unfortunately, it began seemingly brewing to the Proton Receptors in any frog's eyes that they are sentimental enough to pull a trigger on that individual Photon. 

To protect his buddy, bioluminescence was made to  form up chemiluminescence, instead of  that production of dimensional light shared with a chemical refraction. When this kind neighbor occurs in living organizations, the progress is called ‘buy all luminescents’ in smelly silence. It is similar to most of us as the foot is to the paw. And we do pause.   What caucuses do fireflies need to glow?  While staring in terrestrial ecosystems, instead of stars in space, bringing luminescent science is more the Komondor Klink in that Martian Environment. Chemiluminescent reads producers to their delight without any prior commotion, you radiation energy, you. While usually in stew your  color is blue, because this is the light that travels best through the water, bringing home Lunny Lester can range from nearly violet to green-yellow, and very occasionally Fred.

The Dog asked for his particle of light, the one that travers with the need of light, and it carts some electromagnetic energy cross into his own vacuum of space.  Orangutans from stars and other selfish bodies started  acting as passengers converting information to disinformation about their sour where thorough  waving begins frequently flossing. 

That caused The Photon to ask, “Hairy, Scary, Blatantly Furry, why does your Werewolf Growl?”

And The Dog answered, “I’m not a cow.  I love Puppy Chow.  And I am faster than three turtles, all in a row.”

The Photon then started to tow, tow, tow them both gently down the stream of light.  Barely Scarily Snarly Daily, Life is just a Dream.

So, they Time Realed their circumferences and came to live in a midwestern town, with a school near by and a family that thought they owned The Dog.  They did not know anything about light, so when they looked in The Dog’s face The Photon greeted them and they saw brightness.  Shine The Dog.  Growl the bright Electron.  Tell us both to Telescope.

Children played with The Dog as he taught them to treat each other as fellow neutrinos.  Do not destroy.  Do not discard. Do not break into.  And definitely, defiantly do not disregard.

The children learned A plus B plus C as they found rubber, fake bones for The Dog in order to Lighten Up his bed so he could dose as The Photon protected him.

They grew life for all of us on Earth to be neutralized subatomic practitioners with them mastodons close to zero degrees Celsius and half-integral spins.  Bravely reacting when nothing matters. Three stooges of neutrinos are clowns, associated with the elections, rejections, and targeted regrets.

Leptons and antileptons are now our neighbors while chirality spins our confidence level to the sum of three flavors.  Do it, Due it, and any other Weak Isospin.  Cosmological observations have determined the differences of their squares.  In order to distinguish  light from life the neutral particles from Chadwick's became heavy neutrons.

An outrageous life meets and greets death and disparity while avoiding and evolving decent dysentery devotions. Shake our shadows in the darkness of The Photon as his closest comrade pauses his paws in order to pursue their fermion few. 

 

                                                  I enjoyed writing this                                                                                                                                    I want you to enjoy reading this                                                                                                                    I also want you to try reading some of THESE too

 

School Kids Using A Moat To Get Promoted

 

               A pair of boys in the third grade kept getting threatened by this guy that couldn’t even add thirty two point five to negative twelve point three.  He was strong, so the rest of the class listened to him.  The two boys tried to not let him continue to make them feel down, so got them try to put their thoughts and reactions off of him.  At one time, the two of them began talking, instead, about the frogs that they noticed in a stream in the woods near their houses.  Their parents’ houses were next to each other and near a wooded stream.

               Talking about those leapers from the floating logs for three days got them to start going to the woods at first every other Saturday, but it built up to be every Saturday.   After they were going to the woods a bit, they noticed a swarm of tadpoles that grew into a swarm of frogs and three toads along that path near that stream, and the boys began noticing and watching what the frogs ate along that stream.

               “We don’t get poisoned by his lumps but don’t tell anybody.”

               “Okay.  People will look up to us more if they hear someone mention that they saw us carrying a poison toad.”

               Eventually they started regularly digging worms and catching caterpillars, spiders, and flies to feed that group of amphibians that were becoming their pals.  In school, on a hot day, when the windows were opened to cool the class off a bit, a fly buzzed around the neck of Tom, who caught it and put it into a bag so he could bring it to his real friends.  Instead of putting him down, the other kids at their desks whispered that Tom is “Brave catching those bugs in order to force  them to leave us alone.”

Tom and Frank continued  spending more and more time outdoors.  At the woods.  And, also, around their houses.  Soon they decided to put up a tent into the middle of one of their yards.  Eight feet away they dug a moat to surround that tent.  Their moat is four feet wide and four feet deep.  They connected to it by an old pipe they  found that someone threw out.  To the pipe, they attached the street gutter.  The kids now can open it when the moat needs more water.  The moat they seeded with tadpoles from the forest.  Most of the tadpoles were from frogs, but some of them were from toads.

They also built a six inch tall soil wall around the outside of the moat and they put out a wooden plank that they could use to cross that moat.  The reason why they dug that moat around the tent and filled their moat from a pipe they attached to the gutters was to go along with them killing spiders, crickets, flies, fleas, in order to  feed the frogs and toads they now kept around their house. In their minds and hearts, that tent was called their house.  They kept two sleeping bags in that tent.  During the night they crept out of their bedrooms and entered their tent so they could sleep with their frogs and toads.  Their parents noticed this and started out keeping their eyes on their sons at night.  After a couple weeks things seemed to go along well so those parents let their boys do what they wanted to do.  One week end, they talked with their sons.  They let them know that they saw them exit their houses and go to that tent in the back yard.  “As long as you just stay here, and the weather is okay, and no one else comes around, you can do that.  Stay safe.”

               Tom and Frank agreed with their parents.  To show their agreement, both kids started cleaning their rooms regularly.  They also started mowing the parents’ lawns and digging weeds, and shoveling snow off their sidewalks and off their driveways in the winter time.  They discovered, that first year, that frogs and toads dig underground during late fall and hibernate in the protected earth during winter.  Even though the kids folded up and brought indoors their tent and sleeping bags, they kept the ground surrounded by the moat shoveled and walkable during the winter.

               As the spring approached Tom and Frank dug clean that circle pool water from their houses and started again collecting dead animals, and dog poops along with earth worms and grass hoppers and such.  They knew they needed to feed those relying frogs and toads.  The dog poops and dead animals drew flies and ticks and such to their area.  The kids caught them while they weren’t in school but the frogs and toads could catch them if they got hungry when Frank and Tom were studying or being taught.

               That second year, Frank and Tom also started catching bees along with those flies and fleas and caterpillars.  Those bees they knocked out in their moat and tied colored yarn strings onto their legs.  Tom had the blue ones and Rob had the green ones.  They started bringing their bees along with them to the park.  Walking  down the streets.  And, eventually, to school. Their teachers tried not to notice them at first.  They did not want to scare the classes if in their classes a bee made a mistake and flew threw the window. But soon they noticed the blue or green strings attached and how the bees looked like a Bouquet of Balloons exhibited by Tom and Frank.

               The teachers had the two kids sit at the back end of the row so their bees would not disrupt the other students.  The bullies also began staying away from them because they did not like being stung when they tried to force Frank or Tom to do something for them. 

               Along with their Green and Blue swarms, Tom and Frank began bringing a few toads to class.  They usually did not bring the frogs because the frogs wanted water more than the toads.  Girls would look at Tom or Frank with their toads and wonder how they can hold them and not get poisoned by all those warts.  Frank and Tom did not think they became immune to them, they realized that people do not get poisoned by warts.  They knew from experience that toxic fluid produced to protect the toads was just a tail, and with all their toads and frogs and other true friends, they had many tails  buzzing around them.

                                                  I hope you liked reading this                                                                                                                          I also hope you read                                                                                                                                      Some of THESE

Imitate, Immediate, In Pyrite

 

I told Ted, “My parents just told me that we are going to Secondary School.  All my life, all my lives, I’ve only been going here.  I am not impute or immute.  I am not in a minute.  This is not my second.  And I’ve been here for several years.  Not for just a second.  I don’t want to succumb.”

Ted answered, “Wait!  Weight!  We are in Elementary School.”

That caused me to ask him, “And what Element is that?   Hydrogen is pretty small.  I have no Nickles.  I may be humorous at times but I am no Helium.  This place is pretty big.  I think it is an Elephantry School.  And it is definitely not very pretty here.  See her?  She is not pretty.”

Ted said, “When we were getting friendly at recess, I called her ‘Pretty.’”

I said, “I heard you.  I know you got cut off in your sentence.  You were calling her, ‘Pretty Ugly.’”

Ted changed the subject, “Remember when last year’s teacher told us ‘The Syllabus Expands’?”

I answered, “What she was talking about  was that we are getting more in our classrooms.  She told us that ‘This Silly Bus is going to Expand.’”

Then that kid that sits in back of me said, “I gotta told you that that Mind of yours is in your head.  In your head is the same as On your head.  You  must start going to Brade School.”

I turned around and told him that, “For every chicken bird turd, in every season herd weird, I will wear my umbrella to cover my head.“

That got me thinking.  Was I speaking in Pig Latin or was I just making a Pig Gladden?  I sure feel that I am one of those Big Nosed Pig Boys.  I keep getting Big Nos from everyone, all the time. My life sure keeps going from gags to witches, not rags to riches.  Like right now.  I’m in sixth grade.  I just had Geography Class.  That teacher had me stand up at the black board and asked me, “What would America do if it had to split up into individual nations?”  I said, “There soon will be five of them.  Michigan Nation…Eerie Nation…Huron Nation….Superior Nation…Ontario Nation.”

One of the other kids raised his hand and said, “You sure claim to be in the Superior Nation.  You are really in an Eerie Nation.  You put the rest of us in the Huron Nation.”

Then the kid sitting next to him said, “He named them for these Five Great Lakes.  And you keep claiming you have Five Senses.  You should be happy in any of your Five Senseless Nations.  And No.  Sniff.  Sniff.  You are definitely not in a Scentless Nation.  You can’t even afford to be in a Five Cent Nation.”

I pointed to him and told the class, “He’s Larry.”  Then I pointed to the teacher and said, “He’s Curly.”  And I told everyone, “I’m Moe.”

At that moment the recess bell rang.  We all ran out to the playground.  One of the girls from my class was telling her older sister, “…Icky Sneezy, Selfish and Sneaky.  That Tyrant got a lot more bleak.  He then went on to give us a moth ball speech.”

Her sister asked, “Is he a fiendish Tyrant?”

And Lisa, from my class, pointed to me and said, “Just look at his face. His nose has a Ferret Tooth.  Listen to how he speaks. His voice has a Parrot Tune.  He sure shows a lot of Rat Holes.  We call him ‘Nosferatu.’”

Lisa’s sister then asked, “Does he use us Mortals to Wrestle?  Or is he just More Tar to Pester?”  

Lisa then sang,

               “Weirds sure are off their rocks

  Like Birds who want to have flocks

  And planets just want to have suns

  Plants too just want to have suns.”

 

               Then I told Ted, “I’ve got to Meet Paper.”

               Ted asked, “Where?  Under Your Pants?”

               I said, “I am not Wearing any Under Pants.”

               Ted then said, “Do you think this is a Toilet?  You haven’t Told Me Yet.”

               I replied, “Butt Crack.”

               Ted then looked at the sheets, “That’s sure funny.  Look at those Marks Bothers.”

               I said, “We still haven’t come to the time when The Three Stooges meet the Three Stupids.”

 

               And then it happened.

               Time did not stand still.

               Time was drinking from a still.

               Time flew forward.

               We sure got a lot of flue.

 

               We endured.

               I got even more endured.

               I grew up.

               We grew up.

               And we all grew into stuff much worse.

 

               Adult Ted now said, “Moe Howard.  Larry Fine.  And Shemp Howard meet Don Senior, Don Junior, and Jared Kushner.”

               I agreed, “It’s sure become Rouge and Hardly.”

 

               That was when my fellow workers, livers, and linkers began to sing:

 

With his lies

We are being leaded by a stump

Democracy’s good by

It was bought by Donald Trump

King Rump

Frumpy Trump

 

He should be in the slammy

He loves his daughter’s jammies

 

When our folks went a voting,

We never thought we'd see

A president so loathing

As this criminal thing

King Rump

Frumpy Trump

 

Business owners lied

To take over every thing

Putin sent his spies

To make our lives stink

King Rump

Frumpy Trump

 

               And Ted told me, “We are now being run by ‘MANLGA.’”

               I asked him, “’MANLGA’ what’s that?”

               And he answered:

              

                              Make

American

Nazis

Let

Go

Again

 

               Then I sang,      “Oh, he's a right winger felon

With his mind, he thinks like a melon

For Putin he does all his Selling

He’s such a folly we can’t rely.”

 

Think about those Republicans.  This guy is not their leader.  He is not a leader of any sort.  But he is the latest parade balloon rallying this group of selfish bullies.  

                                      If you liked reading this                                                                                                                                You should try reading some of THESE

 

 

 

 

Icy Die See On The Stellar Bus

 

Honeymooners in Space

Universe 13, Planet 38

38th Chapter of the Stellar Bus

 

 

 

               Ralph talked over the hand held speaker, “You are welcomed onto the Space Bus.  This Space Bus!  We Came here and We feel you are Well, so you are WelComed.  Or is that WelConed?  Whatever.  Where we have landed is made of Ice and Dust and Rocky Debris.  You may have been formed by your solar system’s creation several billion years ago.  I was informed.  Do you even know what  a year is?  A year on Earth, my Earth, is 365 days.  A year on Venus is 225 days.  A year on Pluto is 248 days.  But then you might ask, ‘What is a day?’ 

               “Well, a day on Pluto is 153 hours long.  That’s my hours.  Which might not be ‘Ours.’  A day on Saturn is 10 hours, 33 minutes, and 38 seconds long.  You claim you are so classy.  To me you are Seconds Class.  Boy, that Saturn Turns fast, even when it is Sitting down.  A day on Mars is 24 hours, 37 minutes, and 22 seconds long.  Daisy Shmazy.

               “After you are wonderfully entered into my Space Bus, you will enlighten yourselves to your seats and/or sleeping rooms.  I know life is full of Romance, and, thanks to my working pal, Ed, I like to believe that he has removed your Room Ants.  After a period of three thousand and fifty six nano seconds you will, would, or could be departing onto the Soho Solar Ice Rink at the Vehinicimo Star Cluster’s Seventh Station.  Ed told me that it sure takes a lot of work to be my pal.

               “Have a good ride as my vehicular’s group of Omnibus Diverter operators who work for the United Field Hyperbolics fleet of mass transportational devices, which includes me, Ralph Kramden, no I am not crammed in, and Edward Norton, not he is not a jailor’s Ward’s North Son, my wife, Alice, no she is not a lice, and she claims she does not lie, then there is Ed’s wife, Trixie, and yes, she is very Tricky.  I would watch out for her, if I had the time, so I guess that is where my watch left.

               “Welcome aboard.”  

               Those Aged Ice citizens made it up the moving step machine to their seats and rooms on Ralph Kramden’s bus.  There was Icy Moon followed with his uncle, Ganymede Jupiter.  Kuiper Belt boarded next.  He’s the Do Things Nutty guy that left Neptune’s orbit and claimed his home was both Pluto and Arrokoth.  Ed Norton shouted about him, “It’s not Pluto!  It’s Goofy!  And so is he!”

               Cuddled in their refrigious formations entered Ice Grains,   Interstellar Meditators, a bunch of  Negative Forty Two Degrees foreignheights and someone’s buddy with the same first name, Negative.  Negative is  his family name.  Him and two hundred and sixty three degrees of Celsius followers.

               Alice spoke into the ear of Ralph while pointing to the loading aisle, “These Temples of Ice sure have their Religions of 10 Ks.  I see, not Icy, many who believe that their  Molecules allow collisions with grains, reigns, and other brains, all claiming to form their books, their  Uni Verses, which, not witch, claim various abundances of nitrites, ketones and one’s Aunt Ester called out ‘You Carbonyl Sulfide!  You!’”

               Trixie then added, “I heard that their composition of Ice definitely does act like many samples of ice materials we had on Earth.  When Earth still existed.  Earth is what we exited.  I wish Earth was what we excited.”

               Ralph Kramden counted out loud, two thousand customers, and shouted,  “Alice! That's big, big, big! This is probably the biggest number that ever got into us!”

Alice replied,  “The biggest thing you ever got into was your pants.”

Ralph then said to Ed,  “We start out at  200 degrees Celsius.  We were made to go down 2000.  And we don’t have to spend gas to heat up 1800. We can't lose.”

Ed laughed and replied,  “Can't lose, huh? That's what you said when you bought the parking lot next to where cosmic debris was building up.  You thought that was building an  International Space Station there. You said, ‘People going to the Moonies have got to have a place to park their Carbonates.’"

Ralph growled,  “How did I know they were building a dried ice eater?”

That’s when Ralph declared, “If any of the Space Moon colonies ever get thick, it'll be my responsibility to go and visit them.”

Alice smirked and said, “Oh, that is a very important responsibility, Ralph. You better start now and find out what the viewing Aurora Borealis  are at Bellevue.  You sure are Boring This Alice.”

Ralph shouted, “That did it, Alice - You did it. You have just broken this space capsule's back with that straw. You have ridiculed my bothered Moons. You have just made fun of something very big that's close to my heart.”

Alice falsely whispered, “The only thing big that's as big as you claim as your heart is your stomach.”

Ralph went on, “I have - I've got an exploration.  A perfect cone. I'm a space dome. Not a Sun-of-the-Earth dome.  Call me the solar system’s champ. I sure am a solar system’s cramp.  For years I've been talking for granted the most wonderful thing that has ever orbited me - you. I've never shown you the appreciation you deserve, Alice. You could walk outta that door right now and I wouldn't blame you. You deserve something better than me. There are a million guys who'd give you anything if they could have a girl like you.”

Alice then said, “Ralph, I don't want to walk out a million miles out into space. There's just one guy I want to walk out of that space ship door there.   You.”

Ralph smiled, “Baby, you're the greatest.”

Ralph then said to Ed, “You know, when I caught this Saturn Ring, the light told me it's all handmade, you know. It's 2,000 matches meteorited together.”

Ed snorted, “Oh.”

Ralph continued, “Look at that Spark. And he said it was made from a Cross the Ganymede.  In its large salt water ocean. You know, I thought he was kidding me, but right in my mind, it says, ‘Made in Japan’.”

Ed looked at him and asked, “Made in Japan or Maiden Spam?”

Ralph said, “ I'm telling you, this is something!  That girl would not go out and buy for herself.”

Ed erupted, “You can say that again. And another thing about this, the telescopes sold me with this only one of these in the whole bunch of universes.   That one without time.   This was in the Oort Cloud of the Emperor of Jovian. It was smuggled into this Heliosphere.”

Trixie then laughed, “You, Edward L. Norton, Ranger Third Class in the Captain Video Ranger Academy, do solemnly asteroid edge to the transorbital  Zombies and Sabians, to be kind to distant minor planets and old ladies in and out in space, do not to tease my little bothers and slithers and to brusk your sublunar twice a day and drink neutrinos after every dwarf galaxy.”

Which caused Ed to say to Ralph, “Well, let's face it, Ralph. You're not the easiest nebular in the world to gravitate for, you know? It's pretty tough to get a guy perihelion that, well, a guy that's got itokawa.”

Alice then interrupted, “Ralph’s fellow bus driver, Philae, revealed that the presence of large amount of water ice on the comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko.  He stated that ‘The weight lifting strength of the Ice Founder Layer had dusted off his first landing site.’” 

Ralph was surprisingly high.  Alice ended with “Oh, I don't know, Ralph. I've been thinking of giving you something!  Some people call it, Optical Technology.  They think it is set to transform communication from Earth orbit and beyond, although problems on the ground still need ironing out.  What it really is is a Space Laser.  And you may get it real soon!”

                                                    I enjoyed writing this                                                                                                                                    I hope you enjoy reading this                                                                                                                        I also hope you will enjoy reading THESE